Demanding Boss & Workplace Ethics – Book Review
Tangling With Tyrants by Tony Deblauwe: Difficult Boss Strategies
Jul 29, 2009
Tony Deblauwe’s Tangling with Tyrants is a complete, reader interactive tutorial that shows employees how to improve the working relationship with a Tyrant boss who is either a bully, micro-manager, or simply ineffective and disengaged.
The book provides a foundation for effective communication and will also instruct about how to establish a better relationship when interacting with coworkers, family members, or anyone that has a difficult or demanding personality.
Tangling with Tyrants provides, within each chapter, "real-life workplace stories" and reader exercises, reflecting the theme of the chapter. Some reader interactive exercises are write-in book exercises.
The first chapter begins with examples of emotional stress in the workplace, and the consequences of how the employee feels about work. The chapter exercise is designed to enhance reader realization of their negative and positive emotional states in the workplace.
Workplace Diversity & Workplace Behavior Ethics
The second chapter instructs about how to determine if the boss is a Tyrant, by introducing readers to a “Tyrant Profile.” The profile covers the diversity of a Tyrant’s direct communication approaches (example: bullying), and indirect communication approaches (example: back-stabs).
The book explains the ethics of the work system and how disruptive and destructive boss behaviors influence job satisfaction. The exercise for this chapter asks readers to “...list the top five behaviors your boss displays that trigger the strongest negative emotional reactions...” in order to focus on specific examples where Tyrant behaviors are most frustrating and stressful.
Employee Code of Conduct: How to Deal With a Difficult Boss
Insight is provided into common employee reactions to Tyrant behaviors, from the external and internal perspective. A “Hoping, Coping, and Compromise Model” is provided and examined, including information about how to stop this “dead-end cycle.”
Readers are taught how to understand self and assumptions in the “Looking in the Mirror” chapter. A case study is presented showing the benefits of thinking collaboratively, along with advice about how to “...step outside ourselves.”
The “Politics of Power.” chapter instructs about how to structure thinking about power in the employee vs boss relationship. The chapter discusses “...the true basis for power" in the roles and responsibilities of both employee and boss, in order to understand and implement the concepts of effective communication and the best approach to common situations.
Ethics in the Workplace & Communication in the Workplace
Tangling with Tyrants provides insight into the “...foundation of strategic communication and negotiating desired outcomes...” The importance of communicating from a customer perspective is explained in the “Participant Profile and the Art of G.R.A.C.E.©” chapter. The concept of “participant profile” is explained. The model G.R.A.C.E.© is introduced to instruct about how to have more effective conversations with a demanding boss.
G.R.A.C.E.© stands, according to the book, for “Grounding, Reframing, Acknowledgment, Consensus, and Execute.” All of these components combined represent “... a simple, concise, and highly usable communication technique when dealing with a difficult boss or similar personality.”
The author provides understandable exercises, and clarifying examples taken from “real workplace situations.” Information includes how to improve positive thinking and communications. An important goal is how to “break the conflict you have with your boss.” Employee behavior for increasing employee power is covered along with suggested changes in behaviors that weaken employee power.
The author claims that the book “represents a field-tested approach" for addressing conflict and disruptive behavior. The book is a "departure from literature that focuses mainly on the boss, boss types and associated labels.”
Tangling with Tyrants, ISBN 1-58961-577-8, is solution-oriented. The book provides a prescription for employees to assess themselves as well as their boss in order to find the right solution to improve ways of working and achieve mutually beneficial outcomes.
Tony Deblauwe is a certified coach with a Masters Degree in Organizational Development and Human Resources from the University of San Francisco. He is the founder of HR4Change, offering a “resource for personal and corporate development services.” Tony Deblauwe’s web site provides additional information about Tangling with Tyrants, including media activity, blog, and links to book reviews and testimonials.
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