Some colleagues are impossible to get along with. Not so. It's usually a matter of finesse. A few tips will get you on your way to becoming the Office Homecoming King.
Someone at work giving you trouble? Multiple someones? Maybe the problem isn’t them. Consider taking the high road in the interest of office peacekeeping. Because you do want to be the bigger person. Well, don’t you?
Agree with them. Everyone likes to feel understood. When they’re spouting about how a two-for-one giveaway might boost sales for your septic tank business, nod your head and smile. Feel free to grit your teeth while doing so.
Disengage. You can’t fake-agree with a bigot or racist. (Unless you are a bigot or racist, in which case, shame on you.) But rather than constantly putting someone in their place, correcting bad behavior, or telling them off, can you fake a cell phone call and retreat to the nearest office? Your job at work isn’t to police the small-minded. Unless your job title is Police of the Small Minded. In which case, carry on.
Make him/her the expert. What can you say to Stubborn Ruthie who smells of garlic and never ever puts the clipboard back in the right place? She never cracks a joke, and every story she tells ends in tragedy. (“The year I got married, my dog died and my mom got cancer and I never did find those reading glasses I lost.”) There aren’t any cute pictures of pets on her desk. She farts loudly and doesn’t apologize. Any time you try to smile at her, she glares like you’re about to steal her purse (because who doesn’t want her 12-year-old Tic Tacs and used tissues?). Instead of declaring war, take a step back and consider her a source of information. Next time she goes into the details of her latest root-canal surgery, ask if she can recommend a good dentist. (Chances are, she can’t, but she will gladly name 10 or so dentists you shouldn’t see.) Ask the best place for a salad. (You’ll find out which restaurants failed their recent health inspections, a vital piece of information.) Ask if she knows why Bossy McBosserson is in a bad mood. She’s a treasure trove of negative information. Use it to your advantage, and you’ll build camaraderie at the same time. At the very least, she’ll feel respected, and may back off the hostility.
Put yourself in their shoes. Now hear this: people are different from you. They don’t think like you, react like you, and chances are they aren’t trying to annoy you. Marvin Snifflepants two cubes down has no idea how much you’d love him to blow his nose. Snapping at him in the lunch line won’t get the point across. Either suck it up with some earphones, or very nicely address the exact issue with the person you’re being bothered by. (I’m in the suck it up camp—not everyone I work with must personally please me at all times.)
If you’re one of those people who believes that so-and-so “knows what she’s doing, oh she knows alright, mark my word!” I am 97% sure that so-and-so has no clue. Most conceived slights are actually nothing of the kind. So let it go. Speaking of which…
Forgive. Someone wronged you four months back. Get over it, already. Bygones, people.
And if someone is really trying to annoy you (it’s true, some people are just mean-spirited), take a moment to consider why. Often the reasons have very little to do with you. They’re threatened, have confidence issues, never grew out of their high-school mentality, or have Mommy issues. Whatever it is, consider being forgiving and understanding, and feel grateful that you are automatically better off. If you meet their hostility with kindness (or, the very least, indifference), they’ll grow bored and walk away.
You’ll be the winner, and you’ll get a gerzillion and one promotions because the bosses will see how everyone likes or at least respects you. Hooray!
